Getting Lost….

I recently finished a book entitled Get Lost by Dannah Gresh.  My mom gave me the book and I thought it was an intriguing title.  To be honest, I  was a little skeptical of it at first.  Well, I was in for quite a surprise.  I had no idea what God had in store for me while reading this book.  The journey he took me on was one I will look back on as a pivotal moment in my life.  I want to share a little about the book itself as well as what the Lord taught me on this journey of getting lost in Him.

Getting lost can have so many meanings.  Usually when I hear this phrase, I think of not being able to find a destination or maybe even a harsh way of telling someone to go away or leave you alone.  Getting lost is not usually a fun experience and can at times even be frightening.  What does it really mean to get lost and what does it mean to get lost in God?  According to the dictionary, get lost is an idiom and means to absent oneself; to get over yourself.  As I began to dive further into this book, Dannah challenges you to get lost in God.  As women, we face what she calls a “violent craving”.  This is a deep-rooted reality, we so often confuse our longing for God’s love with our longing for a guy’s love.  The craving is part of the curse. After Adam and Eve sinned, God spoke to Eve saying in Genesis 3:16b, “Your desire shall be for your husband and he shall rule over you.”  God was describing what women would face after the fall in relation to men, we hunger for them.  We all experience this in several different ways.  The craving itself is not bad, it becomes bad when we place our longing for a guy’s love above our desire and longing for God’s love.  When we chase after guy after guy and that becomes more important than God, this is when it is a problem.  Dannah says, “If you do not understand the purpose of your desire for a man, you’ll suffer through the Craving so poorly that you may create caricatures or graffiti-covered brick walls that separate you from God, rather than a masterpiece so translucent that the world can clearly see Him through it.”  The purpose of marriage is to be a beautiful picture of Christ and the church and His love for us.  Marriage should be lived out in such a way that it points people directly to Christ.  Sadly, in our self-centered culture, we have made marriage about what have you done for me lately?  When we aren’t getting what we want out of marriage, we can so easily get out of it.  Marriage is about dying to yourself and sacrificial love.

I’m sure you have heard this quote before, “a girl should be so lost in God that a guy has to seek Him to find her.”  This is the entire premise of Dannah’s book.  She challenges her readers to go on a 10 day or 10 week fast from dating in order to help facilitate getting lost in God.  So being the woman I am, I like a challenge and opted for the 10 week fast.  Like I said in the beginning, I had no idea what I was about to embark on over those 10 weeks, however God knew.  I will say in the beginning, I actually thought this would be so easy.  I was still healing from some emotional wounds of yet another failed relationship and figured fasting from dating for 10 weeks would be a breeze.  Well, I was wrong, so very wrong.  It was so much more challenging than I expected.  At first, I was excited for the fast, but didn’t take it too seriously.  At about week 4, I was run over by what felt like a semi-truck.  It was at this point, God was getting my attention and it was something I could no longer ignore.  Through messages at church, prayer and accountability from my small group, I decided it was time to truly take this fast seriously. I am so very thankful I did not ignore the tugging on my heart strings.

I went through what Dannah called a “Love Feast.”  There were 10, one for each week.  So I mentioned week 4 being my “ah-ha” moment.  That week’s love feast wrecked me completely.  It came through a simple, yet beautiful love letter from my God.  He says in Isaiah 43:1-4a, “Fear not, for I have redeemed you; I have summoned you by name; you are mine.  When you pass through the waters, I will be with you; and when you pass through the rivers, they will not sweep over you.  When you walk through the fire, you will be not burned; the flames will not set you ablaze.  For I am the Lord, your God, the Holy One of Israel, your Savior….since you are precious and honored in my sight…I love you.”  God is so amazing.  It was during my fast, as a church we were going through the book of Ruth.  My favorite book of the Bible.  The story of Ruth is a story of redemption and it’s a beautiful story.  God kept lovingly reminding me that He longs to redeem me and my story.  Week 4, what a week!  My Pastor, Don Cousins, shared something during that week that spoke to my heart.  He said “God’s heart is to bring hope where there is hopelessness, victory where there is most certain defeat and to redeem that which is lost and broken.”  

You may or may not know my story, but over the last 5 years it has been a story of heartbreak, loss, disappointment, defeat, hopelessness and complete brokenness.   Two broken engagements with the most recent one occurring in September 2012.  At times, I felt like Naomi; feeling like God had dealt bitterly with me.  I did not understand why this happened to me not only once, but twice.  Even though I didn’t understand, I leaned in hard and fast to the only one who knew the pain I was experiencing and who so lovingly never abandoned me.  In typical female fashion, I asked all the questions of what was wrong with me, what did I do wrong?  After a time of grieving, through the help of my counselor, I was able to work through the questions and the doubts.  I reflected on my own heart and realized I was living out of the shame of my past.  I believed every lie Satan whispered to me.  Satan constantly told me I was not good enough and that no good, Godly man would ever want me.  Since I believed him, I continued to pick the wrong guys.  My friend Jessica told me “my picker” was broken.  Can you say understatement? I wanted to get married so badly, I was willing to sacrifice things that were important to me in order to get what I wanted.  Getting married had become so much more important to me than my relationship with Christ.  Now having the beauty of hindsight, I recognize God rescued me from two marriages that were not meant for me.  Oh, how thankful I am for His favor over my life.  Even though God had taken a backseat to getting married, in his great mercy, He rescued me, not once, but TWICE!!!   What a humbling experience!  So thankful!

So I’m sure you are thinking, is there a point to all of this?  And there most certainly is….here’s what I learned in my 10 week fast.

Lesson 1 ~ Jesus is enough and God is sovereign.  Psalm 46:10 , “Be still and know that I am God.”

Lesson 2 ~ Jesus longs to be my Kinsman redeemer and redeem my story. Isaiah 43:1-4a (see above) Ruth 4: 14 “Then the women said to Naomi, ‘Blessed be the Lord, who has not left you this day without a redeemer, and may his name be renowned in Israel.”

Lesson 3 ~ Contentment begins with surrender.  I will not be happy as a married woman, if I am not happy with the woman I am right now.  I will not be happy as the woman I am right now if I have not completely surrendered everything to Christ.  1 Corinthians 7: 17 (MSG), “Don’t be wishing you were someplace else or with someone else…Live and obey and love and believe right where you are.  God, not your marital status, defines your life.”

Lesson 4 ~ My love relationship with Christ is the ultimate and most important thing in my life.  Henry  Blackaby says it perfectly, “Everything in your Christian life, everything about knowing and experiencing God, everything about knowing His will depends on the quality of your love relationship with Him.”

Since my fast has ended, I am holding onto these 4 key lessons.  I am believing God for exceedingly, abundantly more (Ephesians 3:20).  I did not do the fast in the hopes at the end, God would say here is your husband.  My goal was to get lost in who God is and to allow him to lavish his love upon me.  I have no idea who or what He has in store for me, but I know it will far exceed anything I could have ever dreamt of for myself.  My “picker” has been fixed, glory, hallelujah!!  Dannah ends the book with what a guy lost in God looks like and what a girl lost in God looks like.  She gave 5 qualifying questions as a measuring tool for potential mates and 5 accountability questions for yourself.

Qualifying Question #1 ~ Is he a believer?

He will love you the way Christ loves the Church.

Qualifying Question #2 ~ Is he willing to inconvenience himself for you? 

He gives himself up for you.

Qualifying Question #3 ~ Does he know the Word of God?

He is able to clean your heart with the Word of God.

Qualifying Question #4 ~ Does he protect your purity?

He presents you to the Lord without a spot or stain.

Qualifying Question #5 ~ Does he know how to work?

He is able to feed and care for you.

Accountability Question #1 ~ Do you have an older woman in your life teaching you about love? 

You’ll be in training to become his best friend.

Accountability Question #2 ~ Are you accountable to live in purity?

You are growing in self-control and purity.

Accountability Question #3 ~ Are you willing to be busy at home?

You’ll be busy working at home.

Accountability Question # 4 ~ Are you embracing submission?

You’ll practice being kind and submissive.

Accountability Question # 5 ~ Are you living in such a way that others want to join the feast?

You’ll be inviting others to the feast.

So my question to you would be this, are you lost in God or are you lost in the pursuit of the things of this world whether it be material things or relationships?  I would highly recommend Dannah Gresh’s book, Get Lost.  I can guarantee if you take it seriously and allow God to minister to your heart, getting lost in Him will be the most rewarding experience of your life.  It is my prayer that God will in some way use my story to help others who have fallen prey to the violent craving.  I will close with my verse for 2014, it comes from Isaiah 43:19, “Behold, I am doing a new thing; now it springs forth, do you not perceive it? I will make a way in the wilderness and rivers in the desert.”